Previous Theatre Shows

Amy’s previous spoken word shows, The 8 Fatal Mistakes Of Online Dating (& How To Avoid Them) (2012), and Retail (2013), were supported by Arts Council England’s Grants for the Arts scheme.

RETAIL (2013)

“The shop was a second childhood, a place we could be whoever we wanted to be, not defined by anybody. Except, maybe, you defined me a little bit. Maybe you still do. I’m irreparably changed from knowing you, and you, me, although I don’t see you to ask, not even on Facebook.”


Amy’s first job was in a religious book shop, selling guides on the dangers of Harry Potter and the evils of Bridget Jones. Since then she’s worked in a pizzeria, a sandwich bar, a cinema, a department store and a cream tea café where the chef threatened her with a bread knife. Andy used to work in a call centre, cold calling the phone book, selling timeshares.

This show is for anyone who’s ever worked in customer service, and for anyone who’s experienced customer service, awful or awesome. Retail is set in a closed-down video store. It’s a love story about an older man, Woody Allen fans, VHS tapes and the things which happen while we’re meant to be working.

Written by Amy Mackelden. Music and Video Design by Andy Playford. Directed by Annie Rigby & Amy Golding.


The Maltings Theatre, Berwick-upon-Tweed, 13 & 14 September 2013

The Customs House, South Shields, 17 & 18 September 2013

Theatre Royal Studio, Newcastle, 20 & 21 September 2013

Arts Centre Washington, 26th September 2013

Durham Book Festival, Empty Shop HQ, 15th October 2013


Amy Mackelden’s parents met on a blind date.

Following several disastrous attempts of her own at dating in the real world, Amy signed up for online dating. She re-watched You’ve Got Mail, posted a lonely hearts’ ad, bought a webcam, spoke to a hot Italian (and a skull) on chatroulette, and saw a lot of things she wished she hadn’t. She even friended 68 people on Facebook with the same name as her ex-boyfriend and emailed internet pen pals she hadn’t spoken to since she was 15.

Directed by Annie Rigby (of Unfolding Theatre), The 8 Fatal Mistakes of Online Dating (and how to avoid them) is an hour long journey through the world of internet dating, posing the questions: Do online relationships work? What are the biggest problems encountered by a serial online dater? Can you find ‘the one’ in a chat room? And most importantly, what are you looking for?

Sound artist Andy Playford creates an electronic soundscape for the show, live each night, as there’s always room for unpredictability in love. And, apologies in advance, Amy has a confession to make. But so did almost everyone else she met.

Written and performed by Amy Mackelden. Live electronic soundscape by Andy Playford.

Directed by Annie Rigby. Mentored by Kate Fox. With support from Arts Council England. Co-commission of Durham Book Festival 2012.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s